• Vengeance
  • Wormhole
  • Asteroid - Blue
  • Asteroid - Green/Yellow
  • Plasma Planet
  • Asteroid - Purple
  • Intaki VI and Asteroids
  • Intaki Prime
  • SakBat
  • Warp Tunnel Distortion
  • Peyote Lake
  • Bighorns
  • Grizzly
  • White Anemone
  • Bleeding Heart
  • Purple Anemone
  • Waterton
  • Foothills
  • White Tiger
  • Red Panda
  • Orange Fungi
  • Grapes
  • Daenan
  • Arlayn
  • Stream
  • Berwen

Monthly archives: December, 2003


Mom woke up today. I don’t think she knows who I am.

The Long Road Revisited

I’m calmer now; I can finish the previous entry. I guess they had to sedate me again. Lately I get so worked up! When that happens the nurses make tutting sounds and murmur about the so-called stoic nature of the Intaki. My therapist sighs and makes notes.

What kind of life will I lead now? I wish I had died.

No, that’s not true. Not all the time, but still sometimes. I was naive about leaving Intaki, ignorant about what dangers there were beyond my world.

It took some doing; in the early days they wouldn’t let me watch the newsfeeds and my therapist still doesn’t like it if I do. Actually, she reminds me a lot of my father that way. He never let us learn much about New Eden, and I guess now I understand why he always became irritable and quiet when any of us asked questions. He was always afraid to talk about space. But maybe if he hadn’t been I wouldn’t be in this position! How could he let us go out there without knowing anything?! I’ve never been so angry…

The Long Road

It’s been a while. My therapist says I should keep writing, that it will help. She says I need to face what happened, that I can’t heal until I admit the details to myself.

The Scope pestered me for weeks to give an interview regarding what happened. When my amnesia finally abated I agreed, just to make them stop asking. Doesn’t that qualify as admitting the details to myself? After all, I heard every word that left my mouth. Perhaps my therapist has no idea what she’s talking about.

I’ll note the details here. She’ll be checking anyway; better to get this over and done with.

The passenger liner had finished its jump into Agoze. Suddenly the deck shuddered and the warning bells sounded. A moment later the lights in the entire passenger compartment went out.

I left my seat. I wasn’t supposed to; all the signs said everyone should stay put and buckle up in the event of an emergency. But my mother had just excused herself to the restroom; the jump hit her hard and in those first moments after, while the ship was aligning to the next gate, she’d felt she couldn’t hold her stomach any longer.

I almost couldn’t make my way. The deck kept tilting violently back and forth and the darkness was punctuated every few seconds by blinding bursts of light from beyond the viewports.