• Vengeance
  • Wormhole
  • Asteroid - Blue
  • Asteroid - Green/Yellow
  • Plasma Planet
  • Asteroid - Purple
  • Intaki VI and Asteroids
  • Intaki Prime
  • SakBat
  • Warp Tunnel Distortion
  • Peyote Lake
  • Bighorns
  • Grizzly
  • White Anemone
  • Bleeding Heart
  • Purple Anemone
  • Waterton
  • Foothills
  • White Tiger
  • Red Panda
  • Orange Fungi
  • Grapes
  • Daenan
  • Arlayn
  • Stream
  • Berwen

Monthly archives: October, 2007

What Could Have Been

Today marks four years since the Serpentis attack which destroyed my family and many others.

The twins would have been eighteen this year. I find myself thinking about them a lot, wondering about the men they would have grown into. I imagine by now they would have been eager to go off to school together and play pranks on girls by switching themselves out for each other.

I think Maekari would have pursued starship and station design. He always liked to doodle, but not really artful stuff. His drawings were always precise and focused on things that could be built. He liked anything that could fly or float in the sky and gobbled up every scrap about starships he could get his hands on when Father wasn’t looking. Maybe he would have wanted to learn to be a pilot, even if not a capsuleer, but I think he would have enjoyed creating new and wonderful ships the most.


In half a year I’m going to graduate and spend my time putting myself into situations where I could be blown to smithereens on a daily basis. I know I’m the one who chose this. The Serpentis are a blight and must be wiped out!

I remember when I had no idea what cloning was, who capsuleers were. The vocal chords I use today are my own, yet not. Alien to me, even if they are genetically identical. Maybe that’s why I can’t sing. They are simply not the ones I had, the ones I spent years practicing with to give life to the lyrics I wrote…

Seeing the news today about the Impro cloning scandal makes me suddenly anxious about the choice I made. The training I’ve undergone these last years has been, in part, to prepare me for the eventuality that I will be podded and wake up in yet another new body. This is not altogether different from what the Reborn experience… I’m rather fond of the body I have now, even though it, too, isn’t the original. Even if another new body is a clone of the old one, I’d still know it was different.

But this…increased of instances of mind-lock and corrupted neural transfers…is alarming. While some people see capsuleers and the Reborn as ‘cheating’ death, I still know one day this particular body will expire. Just…not like that. Not so I can’t go on. Not because of a software glitch! And Impro says their figures are ‘in line’ with other corporations, as if they are talking about stop-loss failures or production irregularities! These are people who trust them to ensure they still wake up when the other guy wins. It gives me chills.