We’ve been busy. Council sessions continue to play out more along the lines of a circus of hostility. It’s ridiculous, the amount of juvenile baloney that goes on. I never expected grade-school level name-calling would be something I’d experience as president, but there it is. Politics at its best? I’ve tried (somewhat unsuccessfully) not to show it in chambers but my stress level is higher than it’s ever been and my patience is wearing thin.
Given the antics today, in hindsight it was obviously not the best time to bring it up but Bataav and I had a…conversation…about his team. I confronted him with what Aranza told me regarding their background and questioned what it means considering he told me he worked with them before he became a capsuleer. I listed off a few other, unrelated, odd things he’s mentioned (let slip?).
He told me, finally, what it all means. The truth. Probably still not the whole truth, which was another matter entirely that we argued about with no resolution.
I’m bothered by what he admitted to. It doesn’t change how I feel about him, but I do find myself wishing I’d known about it sooner. Regardless, he is who he is and I do love him.
The bigger problem is his habit of keeping things from me. I understand he’s a private man and much of this habit is due to his occupation, but our relationship needs to be built on trust. I trust him; I’d tell him anything and everything because he is important to me, the most important part of my life now. We can’t expect to work together if we aren’t honest with one another. If he doesn’t trust me enough to really let me into his life, whatever it may have been before, whatever it is today…
I just…hate this feeling that I might not really know who he is or what he’s really up to when he vanishes and won’t tell me where he’s going beyond it being “business”. And now that I know what I know about his background…I just don’t know what to think.