Six days on in the war. Despite the resolve I felt at the beginning, and several engagements where we managed to get a kill here or there, I’m feeling…discouraged. VKYR have proven adept at out-maneuvering us on most occasions, and baiting us into traps which, in hindsight, we should have seen coming.

Maybe I’m not cut out for this. I look back on the last half year and don’t see a lot to be proud of. This war is just the latest example. There’s really no reason for the situation to have spiralled out of control like it has. I’m disappointed in myself. I like to believe I’m a reasonable woman but this last week has tested my limits. I’ve lashed out a few times at people I shouldn’t have. I’m angry at me, I’m angry at them, I’m angry at the enemy. There’s so much going on. So much I worry about.

Late at night, when I should be sleeping but aren’t, I ask myself, did I do this? I have to protect my people and make the best decisions I can even if those decisions have uncomfortable consequences. But the more I try to get involved and do the right thing, the worse things seem to get.

I ended up speaking to James Syagrius about it. I’m not sure I meant to lean on him like that but it was good to talk to someone and it was nice that he listened.

I want to believe his offer of assistance will make a difference, but right now I feel like nothing will help us.

Transcript follows.

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Channel ID: -22778401
Channel Name: Waste Not Want Not
Listener: Sakaane Eionell
Session started: YC114.07.26 23:35:58
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Sakaane Eionell>Namas.
James Syagrius nods.
James Syagrius>Good morning! How are you?
Sakaane Eionell>I’ve been better. How was your time planetside?
James Syagrius frowns as he walks over and take a seat.
James Syagrius>Well I am moving my family to Intaki actually but I am more intrested with what has you vexed. What can you tell me?
Sakaane Eionell>IPI was war dec’d last Sunday. For a stupid reason. But it’s not going well for us.
James Syagrius nods.
James Syagrius>I read Tycho’s reports day before yesterday.
Sakaane Eionell>One of their pilots seems to take special delight in trying to harrass me. It’s just…discouraging. The IPI Council has approved opening the war to aceept allies but in a way I wish we could deal with this ourselves. But they are mopping the floor with my people. I kind of feel…useless.
James Syagrius looks over toward the windows.
James Syagrius>This whole thing has a contrived feel about it.
Sakaane Eionell>It is contrived. Completely and utterly contrived. They are using one Drake we killed as an excuse to wage war on all of us, even though the pilot of the Drake accepted terms for compensation.
James Syagrius nods.
James Syagrius>It is understandable. You’re the leader, in situations where you can do little but much is expected. It can be discouraging. As I said this whole thing feels contrived.
Sakaane Eionell>And don’t even get me started on the sexist crap they spout about that pilot while simultaneously claiming to be acting in her best interests.
Sakaane Eionell takes a breath and tries not to get angry.
James Syagrius>Well I can understand your anger. What is FCO’s role in this?
Sakaane Eionell>None that I’m aware of now. As I understand it, there was an engagement between Darc Kaahar and an FCO pilot, which some of my pilots responded to.
James Syagrius>Ahh.
Sakaane Eionell>After the fact, apparently the VKYR pilot realized he’d attacked a GalMil pilot and claims the matter was settled between them. Nevertheless FCO has condemned the attack and other attacks.
James Syagrius nods.
Sakaane Eionell>I’m not aware if they’ve had any subsequent engagements though. Bastian didn’t seem to know much about it when I asked him.
James Syagrius>I see. When dealing with Bastian please keep in mind that he is capable of many things, including creating conflict to distract and disrupt his…well, others.
Sakaane Eionell>That wouldn’t surprise me.

ERROR: TRANSCRIPT TRUNCATED. DATA UNRECOVERABLE. RESUMING FEED…

Sakaane Eionell>Either way it doesn’t change the fact that we are losing.
James Syagrius>We’ll have to see what happens once we can get allies in.
James Syagrius nods.
James Syagrius>They have fifty members.
Sakaane Eionell>Mhmm.
James Syagrius>I would need to do an analysis of their known members, determine there friends and thus uncover their soft spots.
Sakaane Eionell>Spyra Gryra is a cloaky scout that provides warp-ins. I can tell you who of their active members has been in Intaki. If you like.
James Syagrius>Well if you would like I can do some work. I am good at finding soft spots.
James Syagrius smiles.
James Syagrius>To be honest it is sometimes effective to attack your foes friends to apply pressure. Not directly of course. But I may know folks who might do such things.
James Syagrius smiles.
James Syagrius>I think you’re being summoned.
Sakaane Eionell>Where? My Local is blissfully quiet.
James Syagrius>FreeIntaki.
Sakaane Eionell>Darc Kaahar has been harrassing me with trade windows. As soon as I appear in channels he makes a beeline for the station I live in and opens them up. Every day, without fail, since the war started. Today I decided I’d had enough and have blocked his communications. I would appreciate if you did not tell him that. It’s bad enough that he also has his lackeys harrassing me with trade offers too.
James Syagrius>Well I should have realized. What we discuss here won’t go further.
Sakaane Eionell smiles.
Sakaane Eionell>Thank you, I appreciate that. Even if we are at war, I have a right to conduct my business without his constant noise.
Sakaane Eionell sighs.
Sakaane Eionell>I’m sorry I dumped all over you. I’m sure it wasn’t what you expected! I appreciate you listening though.
James Syagrius>No no I am glad you did. I am sorry I changed the subject. I just have the fear that they are connected. I hope you understand why RECLT cannot officially join your war. Having said that while my men need to remains safe I am willing and capable of helping with your operations.
Sakaane Eionell>I completely understand. Tycho indicated a willingness to help us with supplies.
James Syagrius nods.
James Syagrius>We can and will.
Sakaane Eionell>Thank you.
James Syagrius>Should you need particular supplies just let us know. If you prefer to buy it yourself you can contract it to us and we will shift it. Just recall that it needs to fit into a boarder jumper.
Sakaane Eionell>Heh. I personally need all kinds of things. I wasn’t able to get my affairs in order before the war dec went live because I spent hours and hours locked in negotations which ultimately proved futile.
Sakaane Eionell>I’ve been meaning to ask, did you settle on an area of Intaki for your family?
James Syagrius>No I have not, I need to discuss that with some more geographically literate about Intaki before I can make my decision.
Sakaane Eionell>My family’s estate is in the southern hemisphere, high in the mountains which helps take the edge off the heat. The city of Drahaana is not too far away. The city was little more than a town when I was a girl but has grown quite nicely into a decent-sized community. Has it’s own spaceport.
James Syagrius>Ohh what type of soil that high up?
Sakaane Eionell>It’s very green, lots of trees and jungle. The sweet pod melon grows wild and plentiful in the area.
James Syagrius>Well are there any semi-arid regions? I understand there is a vast equatorial desert.
Sakaane Eionell>I spent my entire life in the jungles. I’m certain there are hospitable arid areas of the planet as well but I didn’t travel much as a girl, and later I was quite focused on my music, before I left to become a capsuleer. Seeing the rest of my homeworld is something on the ‘to do’ list.
James Syagrius nods.
James Syagrius>I love olive trees and would like to grow them. They don’t mind the heat but don’t like overmuch water.
Sakaane Eionell smiles.
Sakaane Eionell>Weather on Intaki can be somewhat unpredictable. Our star is aging, you see.
James Syagrius>Well we had a lovely compound on a cold weather low population temperate world. I used to love watching the sleet storms coming in off the ocean. My wife of course being Ni Kunni never appreciated the cold.
Sakaane Eionell>Oh, nothing like that. Intaki is very hot. I’d never seen snow until I left the planet. But they will say rain and then nothing will come for ages, and then they will say no rain and it will pour.
James Syagrius chuckles.
James Syagrius>Well from the general information I have there are areas near the oceans on the fringes of the equatorial desert that might server well. It doesn’t seem to be a very inhabited area.
Sakaane Eionell nods.
Sakaane Eionell>It’s difficult to live close to the equator due to the heat. Not much survives in those areas.
Sakaane Eionell>So…if Bastian is sitting in the Intaki Intelligence channel, watching all our reported intel go by, should I be concerned?
James Syagrius>I don’t know. I honestly don’t.
Sakaane Eionell>Hmm. Well, straight up: I don’t trust him. Probably never will.
James Syagrius chuckles.
James Syagrius>I think that is a good assessment.
James Syagrius>So as to your war. Please let us know what we can do and we will try.
Sakaane Eionell>I certainly will. I generally get locked in. I can’t get into space because they turn up as soon as I do. I think the corp’s supplies are okay for now but I did pass on the offer Tycho made.
James Syagrius>Well I have a ship that is very stealthy. I can spot for you if you need to move.
Sakaane Eionell>More like I need to go shopping. But this kind of shopping won’t be retail therapy.
James Syagrius>Ohh.
Sakaane Eionell>All blue in Local except for that one spot of red. Out damn spot…
James Syagrius chuckles.
James Syagrius>Could it be he is in love?
Sakaane Eionell>Who? Darc?
Sakaane Eionell>With me?
Sakaane Eionell shudders.
James Syagrius smirks.
James Syagrius>It is possible.
Sakaane Eionell>I dare you to suggest that on IGS.
James Syagrius smiles.
James Syagrius>Do you think it would be helpful if I did?
Sakaane Eionell>Probably not. But if it made Darc splutter at all it might be worth it.
Sakaane Eionell looks away.
Sakaane Eionell>But probably not.
James Syagrius>I try to limit my IGS exposure, I try to maintain the illusion of quiet wisdom. But a bit of merth might be fun.
Sakaane Eionell smiles a little.
James Syagrius>I will have to consider it.
Sakaane Eionell>Well, James, I’m afraid I must excuse myself for tonight. I am tired and would like to rest. I really do appreciate having your ear.
James Syagrius>I am honored by your visit, do come again soon. Ohh and if you hear of a good olive grove…do let me know.
Sakaane Eionell>I certainly shall! Suprab nahi.
James Syagrius bows politely.
James Syagrius>Good bye.