Today I ventured into space for the first time since losing Mourning Star to the Amarr slavers. I’ve had a terrible time dealing with “phantom ship” syndrome… At first I could not sleep for the constant feeling of still being connected to the Armageddon, the terrible wrenching sensations of the ship being torn apart around me, sudden injections of panic hearing the hull breach alarms over and over and confusion over why I never heard the shield or armor breach warnings… Visions of the faces of the crew that I lost…
It took a few days to work up the nerve, but in thinking about it I wondered if re-establishing links with a ship would override the phantom feelings I couldn’t block out myself, like when you’re a kid and fall off your bicycle. If you don’t get back on it right away… So I decided to bring Happy Face of Death out of mothballs and put only a skeleton crew on her.
Devan has kept himself busy by refining his skill in scanning down the wormholes that now proliferate through local space since the Seyllin disaster a month ago. Today he found one here. Eric was off on some errand or other and despite the fact capsuleers all over the cluster are now happily making new homes or kingdoms or whatever for themselves in these uncharted zones that are supposedly another galaxy away from us, I couldn’t let Devan go in alone.
It was beautiful and quiet on the other side. Scans showed nothing save trinary suns, a sprawling system of planets and a vast orangey nebula the likes of which I have never seen in New Eden.
We encountered no one as we toured the area, though we did happen upon what looked like an abandoned space station of ancient design.
Eventually we came back to the wormhole and exited safely into Bereye.
Devan, I think, is more than a little entranced by the idea of going into w-space again. I hesitate to agree… There are enough problems in our own cluster to worry about before we go mucking about in someone else’s backyard. But…I have to admit the scenery was lovely and it was nice for once to have a flight that didn’t end in fire and death for anyone.
When I disconnected, the Mourning Star was no longer with me, except in memory. I was relieved…but I will never forget.