Devan surprised me yesterday by showing up at the campus. I was called out to meet a guest and there he was, standing at the security checkpoint with that expression he always gets when he’s in trouble with me for something. When I asked how he’d managed to get away, he said he’d politely told his boss, Nailo, to “shove it for a few days” so he could come sort things out with me.

Security wouldn’t clear him for entry on immediate notice so I had to tell him I would meet him later in his quarters, which I did. We talked about the argument. There isn’t much to say. I know he’ll never be happy about me being in the navy but he has to accept this is the path I chose.

As for my music… I tried once more to explain it to him, but I think he still doesn’t understand. That isn’t his fault, not at all. He’d have to be me, or maybe even just a musician, to truly ‘get’ it. I did tell him I appreciate what he’s done and all the encouragement he’s given…but I also asked him not to bring it up again. If I ever sing again, if I ever play any instrument ever again…it will be on my terms, in my own time, and not before.

He said, “I see what it does to you, not being able to play or sing. It’s ingrained in your nature and it kills you not to do it.” I guess he does get it a little… But still, I’m tired of having to explain myself all the time. He agreed to leave me be on this topic and not speak of it unless I do first. He hopes one day I’ll find my way back to it, and so do I.

Someone from the corp kept calling while we were talking. Finally Devan picked up, listened for a moment, then said, “I’m busy, it’s important. I’ll get back to you later,” and hung up! We stayed up way too late after that… He’s sticking around for a few more days so we can take our time…making up…